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Living Alone: Addressing the Grief

An interview with author Pamela Stone
Indy Women Connect
January 6, 2005

by Linda Rendleman

After 15 years as a journalist and free-lancer, focusing on numerous issues regarding women, Pamela Stone has compiled her information and research into an informative book on grieving. She has published many articles on women living alone for the New York Times and the Los Angeles Times. Her work has won her numerous awards including the Associated Press Award for the Best Feature Series and the Women in Communications Texas Matrix Award.

“A Woman’s Guide to Living Alone: 10 Ways to Survive Grief and Be Happy,” addresses the many forms of grief that we can face in our lifetimes and gives us the tools to deal and grow from this experience. And yes, even come out of it a stronger, wiser person.

Statistics show that many women will spend one-third of their lives living alone. This book offers practical advice for all of us on putting life back together after the end of a marriage, the termination of a relationship or the death of a loved one.

The book, according to Pamela, really focuses on five main elements.

  • Confront grief. Don’t hold back, feel it and deal with it. And do the same with your children. Encourage them to express their feelings and be aware of yours.
  • Learn how to let go. Letting go of your anger at the other person is necessary to move on with your life. She warns that by staying angry, as in a divorce situation, you give up your power to that person.
  • Meet the challenge of uncoupling. In other words, design your happiness around yourself. In one of her many celebrity interviews for the book, she quotes Ann Richards, former Governor of Texas, who talks about her divorce and building a single life. She says that “in time, the most important person you need to live with is yourself.”
  • Say “NO” and mean it. Many women have difficulty establishing boundaries and keeping commitments to themselves. Pamela encourages us to be strong enough to say “no” to ex-husbands, children, employers and others by being assertive and direct.
  • Money matters. She encourages women to take charge of their money before an emergency happens. She interviewed Suze Orman about tracking assets, dumping debt and investing.

…many women will spend one-third of their lives living alone.

Solo parenting, dating again, relocating and more are also addressed in Pamela’s book with a great last chapter on inspiring advice from Joan Rivers, Ann Richards, Kitty Carlisle Hart and more.

When I asked Pamela Stone what she learned from her research for the book she quickly responded that she found out how resilient women are, how we can all learn to slip into to a new skin and how we can all realize true independence with confidence and high self-esteem.

You can find Pamela Stone’s book, “A Woman’s Guide to Living Alone: 10 Ways to Survive Grief and Be Happy” at www.amazon.com







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